Silver Platter Club

I wish that I could get up in the early morning time,

And things would fall out of the sky into my lap,

I wish I had the brain of a Tyrannosaurus Rex,

So that I wouldn’t have to deal with all this crap.

I wish that I’d been born with skin that turned to golden brown,

While at the beach relaxing in the summer time,

I wish that I was good at football, baseball and lacrosse,

Darts and basketball, and poker, golf and chess.

I’m sorry that they didn’t hand it to me,

On a silver platter, like they did to you.

I’m sorry that I wasn’t able to become,

The man you think I should aspire to.

I wish I had the genes of Edwardo Verastegui,

That I was effortlessly masculine as well,

I wish that confidence was all you could see in my eyes,

Like those interviews in locker rooms with talented sports guys.

I wish I had no self-awareness like the guys I know,

Who float right through their lives without a thought.

Or that I didn’t give a shit what anybody thought of me,

That I was so relaxed you’d think that I was bored.

I’m sorry that they didn’t hand it to me,

On a silver platter, like they did to you.

I’m sorry that I wasn’t able to become,

The man you think I should aspire to.

I’m sorry that they didn’t hand it to me,

On a silver platter, like they did to you.

I’m sorry that I wasn’t able to become,

The man you think I should aspire to.

I’m sorry that they didn’t hand it to me,

On a silver platter, like they did to you.

I’m sorry that I wasn’t able to become,

The man you think I should aspire to.

I’m sorry that they didn’t hand it to me,

On a silver platter, like they did to you.

I’m sorry that I wasn’t able to become,

The man you think I should aspire to.

I’m sorry that they didn’t hand it to me,

On a silver platter, like they did to you.