Oldest swinger in town

When you score with a chick in a disco bar,

take her home in your hairy little car,

then you find you went to school with her ma and pa.

You’re the oldest swinger in town.

When you won’t look in the mirror in the light of day,

swear you dyed it when your hair turns grey,

when you zip up your wranglers and your belly’s in the way.

Here you come and there you go,

wide wheels, spots and a stereo,

but the engine’s cracked and the driver is to.

You’re the oldest swinger in town.

When the barber takes a little less time each week,

the kids don’t understand a word you speak,

when you walk into a disco and they offer you a seat.

You’re the oldest swinger in town.

YoU prefer a pint of shandy to bacardi and coke,

the sounds are too loud, there’s too much smoke.

You’d like another dance but you’re afraid you’ll get a stroke.

You’re the oldest swinger in town.

Here you cGchest all bare.

a little gold inget and a lot of gold hair,

like the disco king meets yogi bear.

You’re the oldest swinger in town.

When your feeling as stiff as a skin heads boot,

you rub on vick where you used to splash brut,

and the latest punk fashion is your weddin’ suit.

You’re the oldest swinger in town.

When you have to go shopping for your sex appeal,

Travolta shades and nine inch heels.

they say a man is just as old as the woman he feels.

You’re the oldest swinger in town.

Here you come with your lips closed tight.

You never smile U know it wouldn’t look right.

‘Cause your dentures glow in ultra violet light.

You’re the oldest swinger in town.

And you look so mean ’cause your pants are too tight.

You’re the Oldest swinger in Town.

And it takes you all night to do what you used to do all night.

You’re the oldest swinger in town.