Auctioneer

There was a boy in Arkansas

Who wouldn’t listen to his ma

When she told him that he should go to school

He’d sneak away in the afternoon

Take a little walk and then pretty soon

You’d find him at the local auction barn

Well he’d stand and listen carefully

And then pretty soon he began to see

How the auctioneer could talk so rapidly

He said oh my it’s do or die

I’ve got to learn that auction cry

Gotta make my mark and be an auctioneer

Will you gimmie thirty make it thirty

Bid it on a thirty dollar will you gimmie thirty dollar bid

Will you gimmie thirty-five

Who woulda bid it at a thirty-five dollar bid

And all could see he didn’t jest

He practiced calling bids both night and day

His pop would find him behind the barn

Just a working up an awful storm

As he tried to imitate the auctioneer

His dad said son we just can’t

Stand to have a mediocre man

Selling things at action using our name

I’ll send you off to auction school

And then you’ll be nobody’s fool

You can take your place among the best

Will you gimmie forty make it forty

Bid it on a forty dollar will you gimmie forty dollar bid

Will you gimmie forty-five

Who woulda bid it at a forty-five dollar bid

There grew a man who played it cool

He came back home a full fledged auctioneer

And the people came from miles around

Just to hear him make that rhythmic sound

That fill their hearts with such a happy cheer

His fame spread out from shore to shore

He had all he could do and more

Had to buy a plane to get around

Now he’s the best in all the land

Let’s pause and give that man a hand

He’s the best of all the auctioneers

Will you gimmie fifty make it fifty

Bid it on a fifty dollar will you gimmie fifty dollar bid

Will you gimmie fifty-five

Sold that hog for a fifty dollar bill